Just before starting chemotherapy and radiation treatments in June (June 25 entry,) I invited four couples to come to my house, who are our very important friends. Rachel Naomi Remen, the author of “Kitchen Table Wisdom,” wrote about the r…

9/18 Almost 70 hours after leaving Boston, I received an Email from Scotland; “Dear Mom, Sorry I didnt call, I cant get the phone card to work, and I dont have internet here yet, Im using someone elses computer for this message. Everything…

9/14（日本語は後に続きます） We have been busy for the past two days in a very normal sense. My son who is a college junior is leaving for Scotland for a year on Friday, and Mark and I are trying to help him (actually yell at him, in my ca…

9/10 To get well and to feel more energetic means wanting to see and talk to people, in my case. It is wonderful to see my precious friends. On Thursday, two senior consultants (a couple), with whom I worked for two years, came to see me a…

9/6I went to see my radiology oncologist for a check up today. He quoted Tolstoy, and talked about Dostoevskii, Chekhov, and Mark Twain. According to him, descriptions of characters in those novels describe the stages of disease accurately…

9/3Even though our cottage is only three hours away from home by car, the climate here is already fall. Trees started changing colors here and there, and the breeze from the ocean was chilly to my fat deprived body. One biggest surprise wa…

8/30Mark and I drove up to Maine yesterday afternoon, with my feeding tube equipment, five pillows (to prop me up properly during the night), many music CDs, binoculars, a birdwatcher’s book, two computers, a guitar, and Mark’s research ma…

8/28I went to BWH today, and saw my surgeon. After having a resident repair my J-tube stitch, he told me the following: My surgery is going to be on September 26, at 7:30, and will last for about 8 hours. I will be on a ventilation machine…

8/25/06I went to my oncologist to read the PET scan that I took yesterday. The pet scan follows the trace of the isotope injected glucose and detects any abnormal cell activity. If there is any cancer cell alive, it shows up in the scan, b…

8/20The past two days have been quite tough with vomiting and fever, but I feel that I am on the path of recovery. For the first time in two weeks, I could do the breezing exercises meant for enhancing our immune system this morning. My Ch…

8/18 I cried like a baby over the CD by Rachel Naomi Remen, realizing how narrowminded, scared, suspicious (of my recovery and medicine in general,) self-pitying, and resentful I have become. When I started the treatment, I was embracing l…

8/17It sounds a little crazy, but I worked for a company for an hour yesterday. When the job inquiry came about almost two months ago, I naively believed that I would be honky-dorry state enjoying the recuperation period. I even had hair t…

This is Hayden transcribing for my mother: On Saturday night I had a bad reaction to antibiotics and had to go the ER where I spent the night. Fortunately, there were no serious problems, but I consequently had to stop taking this particul…

8/12It’s a beautiful fall-like day in Massachusetts. The past week has been very challenging, and I could not keep up with this Blog. The good news is that I finished my radiation therapy on Friday, but unfortunately I have to sit tight wi…

8/1/06I did not believe that the chemotherapy would ever be over, but at least today was the last day in this phase. The Newpogen shots that were given for the past six days boosted my white blood cell count enough, and I could undergo bot…

7/28/06 This week has been very hard, and it has been very difficult to keep my spirits up. Is it because I am getting chemotherapy with the help of white cell boosters and red cell boosters? Is it because of the low-grade fever due to the…

7/25/06Today was my chemotherapy day, but my white blood cell count is low again. Since I had to skip the therapy last week due to the same reason, my oncologist decided to give me Cisplatin alone (I have been taking both Cisplatin and CTP…

7/22Rainy weekend. We decided not to go to Maine, and to stay home instead. I started losing hair last weekend. Even though I hoped that skipping one chemotherapy would somewhat slow down the hair loss, it was wishful thinking. Even my son…

7/20 I went for acupuncture yesterday, and it was a "spa" like experience again. When you get a sickness like cancer, the amenity become increasingly limited, and you tend to forget "regular" fun and comfort. Acupuncture is one of the few …

I was supposed to go through the fourth chemotherapy today. I went to the radiology treatment first at 8:15, and then went to the oncologist’s office. It turns out, however, that my white blood cell count is too low to endure the therapy, …

7/15/06 I am spending the weekend in Maine again. Since my chemotherapy starts on Monday (actually from next wee k on Tuesday), this is a wonderful recuperation routine. I started a complementary Chinese medicine protocol from the middle o…

7/11/06 I had my third chemotherapy treatment on 7/10 (Monday.) Even though I was apprehensive about how the night would turn out, it was much better than I expected: partly because even the chemotherapy has become something of a routine, …

7/5/06 When you are recovering, 24 hours make such a difference. This morning I woke up with a sensation of hunger, instead of nausea ( it was short-lived because the effect of the medicine ran out soon.) However with the help of medicine,…

7/4/06 The anti-nausea medicine worked better this time, and at least I did not vomit. However, there was no comfort in it. My whole body is trying to push everyting out of the stomach, but the medicine is stopping it at the threshold. The…

7/3 The whole day today was spent getting therapy. At 9:30 am, I had a radiation treatment, then the chemotherapy followed. The oncologist used a different kind of anti-nausea medicine today, and right now I am bracing for the night to com…

6/31/06 through 7/2/03 6/31 was the first radiation therapy. As I expected, it was not eventful. I simply stayed in the marked position for 10~12 minutes. The side effects will start in about 1~2 weeks. I am in the Maine cottage for the we…

6/29/06 My battle with nausea continues. Currently I am taking two kinds of anti-nausea medicines every 8 hours; Zofran and Lorazepam. Zofran prevents me from throwing up, but does not help me with appetite. Lorazepam has an anti-anxiety e…

6/27/06 Even though I felt pretty good through 9:30 last night, it was down hill after that. Suddenly the nausea hit me hard, and dry heave and vomiting continued throughout the night and morning. The chemo-medicine Cisplatin requires cons…

6/26/06 (I will upload English entry tomorrow, excet for a few lines here) The first day of chemotherapy. I took my pebbles, CD by Ernest Godman (piano and viola concert), Rachel Rame's book "Kitchen Table Wisdom" to the clinic. Whole orde…

6/24/06 At 7:30 am on Friday 6/23/06, we saw Dr. F, a radiology oncologist, who is the director of the radiology department of the University of Massachusetts Hospital, to discuss my upcoming treatment. The method/machine to be used is cal…