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9/6

I went to see my radiology oncologist for a check up today. He quoted Tolstoy, and talked about Dostoevskii, Chekhov, and Mark Twain. According to him, descriptions of characters in those novels describe the stages of disease accurately, reaching beyond cultural boundaries.

I never know what he is talking about at first, but he is extremely knowledgeable and interesting to talk to.

My nagging question has been why I have to go through life-altering surgery when the PET scan shows no cancer cells in my system.

He said while smiling, “as soon as the surgeon saw you, he reserved a (operation) table for one.” I am the best candidate for the surgery because I am young, very fit otherwise, and because my cancer is at a curable stage. He added that if they were thinking of chemo/radiology treatment alone, he would have given 7200 Cent Grey of radiation (My dosage was 5040 Cent Gray.) Thinking about that alone makes me shudder.

Well, OK…so, it was a good tiding that I have to go through the surgery. Even though I knew it, it was nice to hear that from him this way.

Actually I was surprised by my own words toward a faculty member at Mark’s college yesterday. Without thinking I was saying to her, “I am resigned to accept the life altering effect of the surgery. I will be a little handicapped, but I will move on and live with it.”

Somehow, I seem to have processed the surgery and its effect quite well inside my mind, but today’s talk was an added bonus to that process.

The doctor added that I might have suffered more than Caucasian patients due to my ethnic characteristic of low enzymes to process the chemo toxin. To my question about whether there is any difference between males and females regarding chemotherapy side effects, he answered that gender differences as well as enzyme characteristics are the issues that modern medicine has just begun to look at.

On the way back from his office, we dropped by at Trader Joes, an international grocery store. There I found “Mochi ice cream”, an ice cream wrapped inside Mochi (soft rice cake.) It was very very good.

My esophagitis is getting better everyday. Today I ate a little bit of quiche and shrimp Shumai in addition to the ice cream. It is wonderful and empowering (not an exaggeration) to be able to eat!

PS:

Mark’s department gave me a beautiful powder blue bathrobe to use during my hospital stay. Why are people so nice? I know this is a completely wrong expression to describe my gratitude, but don’t know how else to describe my awe. This is a gift of love to both Mark and me. It means so much to us.