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7/4/06

The anti-nausea medicine worked better this time, and at least I did not vomit. However, there was no comfort in it. My whole body is trying to push everyting out of the stomach, but the medicine is stopping it at the threshold. Therefore, I am attacked by chills and night sweats and hot flashes, and I anyway feel the nausea very badly. At least I do not vomit; I am not dehydrated, thus better. I wonder if this is the limitation of the medicine at the current stage of development?

For the first time since the diagnosois, I cursed my cancer and its vulger treatment, and cried a little bit, uttering, " I do not want to put any medicine in my body anymore." It was good that Mark was beside me, and said quietly, " you will get through this." Simply by saying what I felt, and by being consoled, I felt much better. You cannot be strong all the time.

I took an anti-nausea pill that contains anti-anxiety agent after that, and slept for a few hours.

In the morning, consequently, I could drink ginger tea, and eat ginger-flavored gelato. It is a big improvement from the first chemo treatment last week.

I am planning to seek an alternative/complementary therapy for the nausea and immune enhancement during this chemo/radiation therapy.