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Just before starting chemotherapy and radiation treatments in June (June 25 entry,) I invited four couples to come to my house, who are our very important friends.

Rachel Naomi Remen, the author of “Kitchen Table Wisdom,” wrote about the rituals that she recommends to the people who are about to go through the surgery or difficult treatments.

In her book she recommends the ritual for which friends and relatives of the patient bring a rock, talk about some personal crisis of any sort, and share with the patient how they survived the difficulty. Some may say that they survived thanks to the power of faith, and others may say that the power came from humor. At the end of the ritual they give the rock to the patient while naming their source of strength.

In June, these people shared with me their most private moments of their lives and painful struggles, along with the rocks they brought, while it was difficult for them to do so. Most of the stories are the ones that are shared only among family members, only through shared experience and tears without the words. I absorbed their stories and wisdom as though I were drinking water from the Fountain of Youth.

I will never forget their stories.
They have become more important friends for Mark and me, with whom we can now share our private thoughts more than before.

They helped our family not only mentally, but also with practical aspects like meals, driving, invitations for concerts, and a warm quilt. (I should add that I received tremendous help from other people too.)

Even though it is still difficult for me to eat some dishes and I probably still have to go through multiple dilation procedures, I have become an optimistic survivor with their help, along with the help of you who are reading this Blog. We all worked hard to earn the closure of a chapter we started together in June.

Last night, we were a bit giddy and silly while being serious. Why not, it’s New Years? We deserve a party. A new life starts over the closure of another.