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Weather: Rainy

I visited a nursing home and “daycare program for the elderly” in the neighborhood with my sister in law, just to see what is available for my parents going forward. In Japanese society, where the whole population is aging, and particularly in the place like Kagoshima where many young people are leaving town as soon as they reach college age, the facilities and programs for the elderly are becoming one of the few businesses in which growth can be expected.

Even though Japan has quite a generous nation wide long term care system, it is difficult to understand exactly how much each individual is entitled to, how much he/she has to pay out of pocket, and to compare the cost and qualities of different services. Today I visited one facility that provides in-house and outpatient service to the elderly with dementia as well as to the elderly without dementia. No matter how carefully I listened, the guidelines and the language were vague; is my Japanese language comprehension deteriorating, or is it intentionally difficult to understand?

In the resident facility we visited everybody was wearing the “uniform” jersey. The customer service guy explained that they ask all residents to wear these clothes because some demented residents put buttons into their mouths.

Compared to an American facility I had visited, this place looked like a prison! It is probably very difficult to find an individualized service facility in Japan, a country where everybody is taught to conform and wear uniforms from early on.

Do I want to send my parents away when they cannot take care of themselves? No! It was very sad and frustrating to realize that there will never be a nursing home in Japan where I feel comfortable leaving my parents.

In the evening, I saw a very good friend of mine from high school. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but she also had issues about how to take care of her aging mother.